ASWONAUT

A cosmic meme mission built for moon talk and Mars energy.

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Orbit Locked

Nasa Mode

Ready To Launch

Lore Transmission

The Legend

The Legend of The Orange One Who Could've Been

In the year of our Lord 2026, on a day when the fake news cameras were rolling and the Oval Office smelled faintly of Diet Coke and victory, President Donald J. Trump stood before the Artemis II crew — those four poor bastards who just spent 10 days whipping around the Moon like it was a $2 hooker in Atlantic City.

The astronauts, in their crisp blue jumpsuits, looked like they’d been through zero-G hell. Trump? He looked them dead in the eye, clasped those tiny but powerful hands, and dropped the most presidential lore bomb in history: “To get in there, you have to be very smart. You have to do a lot of things physically good. So I would’ve had no trouble making it. I’m physically very, very good.”

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Mission Phases

Flight Plan

Training complete, launch sequence active, lunar ambitions pending.

Phase 1: Training

✓ Passed NASA Physical Exam
"The doctor said I have the body of a 25-year-old astronaut. Maybe younger."
✓ Completed Zero-Gravity Training
"I've been defying gravity my whole life. This was easy."
✓ Studied Rocket Science for 15 Minutes
"I understand rockets better than the scientists now. They said 'Sir, how did you learn this so fast?'"
✓ Customized Space Suit
Gold trim added. American flag enlarged. Name embroidered in larger font than NASA's.
✓ Pre-Launch Press Conference
"This will be the greatest space mission in history. Possibly ever."

Mission Status: "We're ready. More ready than anyone has ever been."

Phase 2: Launch

✓ Rocket Launch from Mar-a-Lago
"Why use Cape Canaveral? My property has better views."
✓ Broke Sound Barrier in 30 Seconds
"Faster than any rocket before. The engineers were shocked."
✓ Exited Earth's Atmosphere
"Beautiful planet. I've built many towers there. The best towers."
✓ First Tweet from Space
"Leaving Earth was easy. Coming back? We'll see. Depends on the deals I make up here."
✓ Established Communication with Ground Control
Ground Control: "Sir, please follow the flight plan." Trump: "I AM the flight plan."

Mission Status: "We have liftoff. Incredible liftoff."

Phase 3: Moon Ops

□ Orbit the Moon
"Nice moon. Needs development. I'm thinking Trump Lunar Resort."
□ First Moonwalk in 50 Years
"Armstrong's small step? Mine will be bigger. Much bigger."
□ Plant American Flag (Larger Than Last Time)
"The 1969 flag was too small. This one can be seen from Earth."
□ Collect Moon Rocks
"I'm bringing back the best rocks. Going to build a moon rock casino."
□ Establish Lunar Trump Tower Foundation
"First building on the moon. They said it couldn't be done. I'm doing it."
□ Negotiate with Moon (It's Listening)
"Even the moon respects strong leadership."

Mission Status: "The moon is just the beginning. We're not stopping here."

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Real Life Space

Mission Footage

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Frequently Asked Questions

FAQs

Q: Is Trump really going to space?

A: In spirit, yes. Physically, we're working on it.

Q: What's the utility?

A: Utility? We're going to MARS. That's the utility.

Q: Wen moon?

A: Already there. Next stop: Mars.

Q: Is this a scam?

A: "I've never scammed anyone. Ever. This is real."

Q: Can I meet Trump?

A: Top holders get virtual meet & greet. Maybe.

Q: What if aliens attack?

A: Trump will negotiate. He's the best negotiator.

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